Christmas without Barney

Christmas without Barney.

This may be the worst Christmas I have ever experienced. The grief. sorrow and emptiness is more than I can bare.

Barney was like a child on Christmas morning. He would sit and we would give him gifts to open and each time he would say "for me?" and "Wow".

Christmas Blues

Christmas Blues.

Joe O'Hara dies 20 years ago today.

Ling Ling died 1 year ago Dec. 3, 2009

Helen Inada died 3 years ago Dec. 20, 2007

Very sad

Christmas without Barney Inada is very very sad.

Blood Donation and Bike Ride to Pacific Grove

Donatedblood today, my 8th pint which made me a "Gallon" Donator. Rode my bike down to Monterey Chomps Bllod Center and then over to Pacific Grove.

Rode @ 21 miles.

Good Day.

Thanksgiving great food but no Barney

Great food this Thanksgiving but I would have to say this was the worst ever. Still miss Barney and Helen and its hard not to this of past celebrations.

I am grateful I have to work tomorrowat 5:00am, keeps my mind off of Barney.

Thanksgiving without Barney

The Holidays without Barney Inada

I hate the holidays, especially since Barney died. Halloween was a favorite of Barney's. He loved the little kids dressed up. Thanksgiving will be awful with out Barney.

I can't even deal with Christmas, Barney loved watching his family open gifts.

Bike to Pacific Grove, Asilomar and Del Monte

Bike Ride from Marina to Asilomar and then up to Del Monte Shopping Center. Total ride was 32 miles plus another 6 miles with Dale.

William Lewellyn Singing

Barney could always make me laugh

Barney could always make me laugh. He could be so silly.

I still miss Barney Inada........it still hurts like hell.

Happy Anniversary Barney and Helen

Happy Anniversary Barney and Helen

October 17

Also the anniversary of Loma Prieta

Happier Times

Happier Times: Barney with his family, Melanie, Leilani and William.

Helen Inada

Professor Inada

Happier Times.....

Kelly beats Dale in Bowling

Yippeeee......I beat Dale in Bowling. Second time in 19 years. We have been bowling every Sunday since August.


Also Melanie gave us some vegetables........maybe she means well but come on

Wild Turkeys in Marina.

Wild Turkeys in Marina. About 14 turkeys wandered around Hillcrest Ave.

Barney Inada loved his Oakland Raiders

Its painful watching the Raiders without Barney.

Barney Inada was a very sweet man

Barney was a very sweet and kind man. I miss him more than words can describe.

Its hard to go to Pacific Grove without thinking of Barney.

Barney Inada....still on my mind and in my heart

Still miss Barney........and Helen

Barney in Japantown Aug. 2009

We used to go Japantown every August with Barney. This is the first August since 2001 we have NOT gone to J-Town.

Six Months since Barney Inada died.....

Its been almost 6 months since Barney died and I still miss him dearly.

The death of my own father has not been as painful as losing Barney. The guilt and shame still haunts me at night.

Barney, I am so sorry I failed you.

Sea Otter in Marina, CA

Sunday night we rode our daily route through Fort Ord Dunes State Park and stopped by the site of Stilwell Hall.

Sea otters are not common in Marina.

This little guy appeared to be in trouble. We called the Marine Mammal Rescue Center and they were awsome!

Hopefully he'll be okay.

Fort Ord State Park

Fort Ord State Park. Looking over the ocean at the site of the old Stillwell Hall.

Guilt and regret: Barney Inada

Maybe its cathartic to write about Barney. The pain is deep and I miss him beyound words. The reality is that I am responsible for Barney's death.

Dreams of Barney and Joe Montana

I have been having the strangest dreams lately One version; Joe Montana knocks on the front door and scolds me for "failing Barney", he growls "you let him down, what kind of person lets a helpless man die"

Another version I am in a job interview and it is going well until Joe walks in and whispers in the ear of the interviewer and both glare at me.

I miss Barney.

US Open at Pebble Beach

Dale and I stopped by the US Open in Pebble Beach before it was opened to the public.

Barney Inada was kind and loving

Barney had a child-like appreciation of simple things.


He liked toys and for whatever reason he really liked this toy black cat.

We were in downtown Santa Cruz and he really fell in love with it.

I miss Barney.

Past Obon Festivals

This photo was at the Salinas Obon in 2008. The house is the Reverend's residence.

It was a good day. Barney had a good time and Dale was in a good mood.

Barney and Puppy

Barney and Leilani in Carmel 2009. Leilani was singing with the Carmel Bach Festival.

Hitomi LacaLamita called today.

Mrs. Lacalamita called me today. She only wanted to check on me, she walks by in the morning an didn't see my car. She was a little concerned which was really touching.

I was having a bad day, but she called and my all mood changed. Hitomi is an animal lover. She loves all animals. Her baby was a red dog named "Aka". Poor Aka died a year ago, it was very painful. She nows has Tema, a young puppy with a great deal of energy.

Why do I feel like I lost my child? Barney Inada

I am not a parent.

But somehow I feel that Barney Inada was reborn as a child. I spent the last 9 years with Barney 24 hours a day.

I got him up, I fed him, made sure he had clean cloths. Twice a week I gave Barney a shower.

The lonliness, pain and emptiness is still in my heart. I think about Barney when I wake up, when I fall asleep.

Target Clerk asks about Barney

A very sweet clerk at Target asked about Grandpa, it was very painful to tell her he had died. She is a very nice lady.

Fun in Milpitas

This past Saturday I saw "Kick-Ass" with Susan Aoki, Craig Clark, Mike Covington, Chuck Berry and his niece.

It was really fun to get out of Marina. Milpitas rocks........wow......it has changed. I had a really good time. I feel a little guily having so much fun.

I still miss Barney terribly.......it rips my heart out thinking of his death.

Walk from SJSU to JapanTown

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I drive Dale to math class at SJSU. I have been walking and rewalking my steps from SJSU to Japantown.

I do this because Barney was still alive on February 21, 2010 when I walked down from Taylor street where the Circus de Solel was to the Spaghetti Factory.

I had dinner with the O'Haras which was fun then I walked back up First St. to Japantown and met Dale, Barney, Melanie and Leilani at Happi House.

I keep walking this route hoping to recapture the feeling I had the day before Barney died February 21, 2010.

How can I still miss Barney Inada?

Barney Inada has been dead for almost 7 weeks and I still cry myself to sleep. Dale is still an asshole and I still greatly miss Barney.

I went to Santa Cruz and saw the O'Hara families: Kathleen, Roisin, Kiera, Moira and mom but my mind still thought back to Barney and our outings to Pacific Ave.

Barney was like a child.

Kathleen had some good thoughts today. First I should look into the Center for Dying and second I should seek a support group for Caregivers.

I cry every night......hell I pull my hair out screaming, thinking about Barney.

I took Barney out last Febraury for his birthday. We had Japanese food and saw The Usual Case of Benjamin Buttons in Pacific Grove.

Barney had a great time. I had fun watching Barney have fun. But I started to think I have a 78 year old man that has reverted to a child. I call him "little boy" and he will likely die before me. There were alot of parallel between Barney and Brad Pitt as Benjamin Buttons.

Dale was at school and was NOT pleased that I took Barney.

Best thing I ever did......I miss Barney

Easter is the time to....Hula Hoop

Roisin and Moira like to Hula Hoop. Easter 2010 at Kathleen's House.

Cold wet rainy day.

Hula Hoops for Easter

Kiera does the hula hoop very well.

Easter 2010 at Kathleen's house. Kiera, Moira, Roisin and Kathleen know how to hula hoop.

Barney would have had a great time today. He always loved kids.

More Barney Inada....cute..cuter...cutest!!!

This photo of Barney was one day before he died, at the Happi House in San Jose. Dale, Mel and the kids took Barney is the Circus de Soleil. They all had a great time.

I miss Barney so much....why didn't I call 911.....

The reason Barney Inada died.

Barney did not have to die.

He complained of chest pain for about 3 hours. It was around 8:00pm Sunday night and Barney was holding his chest. Dale insisted it was a strained muscle but I knew something was wrong.

Barney didn't want to go for a drive which is something he loved to do every evening. He was in foul mood, he wanted to sleep for a lttle bit. All these were signs that something was wrong and I should have called 911.

I can't trust Dale, when Helen died in 2007, she was dead for hours before Dale let me call 911.

If I wasn't such a idiot Barney would still be alive.

Barney Inada

Barney I miss you so much. I keep expecting to see you or hear you sing.

Da...da...da..dada

He's the cutest boy in the world....he's the cutest boy in the world....and I love him so cuz I want you to know his name is Barney...Kazumi ..Inada.....da..da..da.da.......dada

Dale Inada at Buddhist Temple in San Jose

Dale Inada at the Buddhist Temple in San Jose. March

Conan O'Brien Mayor of San Jose Japantown

Elect Conan O’brien Mayor of San Jose Japantown


Elect Conan O’brien Mayor of San Jose JapantownBy Joann Landers
January 20th, 2010

The folks at Roy’s Station think a redhead would be the number 1 choicest pick for Mayor of Japantown.

Conan O’Brien?


Posted using ShareThis

Tim and Laurie came to Monterey

Tim and Laurie came to Monterey today. Laurie took the pictures and I really like her. We went to Asilomar and Pacific Grove.

Barney Inada died a month ago today......the pain is still unbearable.

Barney Inada was reborn a child

March 14, 1999 Barney Inada suffered a severe stroke. He was in a coma for 8 weeks and when he awoke he was reborn a child.

A sweet, gentle loving child with bone crushing strength in his hands.

I cared for him since 2001, I bathed him, fed him put him to bed and finally watched him die.

The pain of losing him is unbearable.

More thoughts on Barney Inada

Barney Inada

This Guest Book has been kept online until 2/28/2011 by Monterey Herald
Keep Guest Book Online

March 05, 2010
We had some wonderful times together. You always had love for my children and family. Many times we laughed and cried together. Your music and friendship will always be memembered. Thank you God for shareing Barney with us.Aloha, mahalo nui
March 05, 2010
Steve, Melanie and Dale my deepest condolences on the loss of your father. I remember him as a giving person who always made sure everyone around him had fun. Though its been a long time I have fond memories of Uncle Barney.
~
Leo Akulian,
Fresno, California

March 03, 2010
Thank you for the very nice memories of dad Stanley, Julie, and Sharen. They are great memories. Hope to hear from you all soon.Dale
March 02, 2010
Our sweet loving uncle Barney will truly be missed.....One of my great memories of him was he always made sure every one was always eating and being happy.My brother Stan Jr. & I would always tell him we are full uncle... We are full... He would say No more food No more rice Huh!!! He would say with a big smile you sure EAT.... EAT.... EAT...I can just see him now.......He is serving Fish, Kim Chee & of course Steamed Rice w/ Soyu to all his friends in heaven.EAT....EAT......EAT......Love u,
~
Julieann Akulian-McLallin,
Clovis, California

March 02, 2010
I'll miss you, Uncle barney! I was young and and called him (uncle bongy). He was so good to me, I remember watching him in the garage making a sign for a local store, also every time there was a beautiful sunset, mom & dad would tell me uncle barney painted the sky.. (HE WILL BE MISSED, NOT FORGOTTEN)
~
Stanley Maeshiro JR,
Makoti, North Dakota

I miss my Barney Inada

I miss my brother from another mother.

Barney Inada.

The deepest sorrow I have ever felt

I fucked up... really bad. Barney Inada died early Monday morning of a heart attack.

It was preventable, Barney complained of chest pains starting @ 9:00 Sunday night. Dale and I kept giving him aspirin and put him to bed @ 11:00pm.

At 3:30am Monday morning Barney tried to get out of bed holding his chest. He collapsed in my arms and I staring CPR immediately. I was doing it really poorly, I panic and did a very bad job.

Barney was essentially a child, a sweet, gentle and loving being. In a lot of ways I was closer to Barney then to Dale.

The shame and guilt I have from NOT calling 911 sooner will be with me the rest of my life. I failed Barney when he needed me most.

I am scum.

Barney Inada died today February 22, 2010

Barney Inada died today February 22, 2010.

In March 1999 Barney had a major stroke which left him very child like.

He enjoyed children playing, his daughters singing and his neko Ling-Ling.

The pain is unbearable and I have lost 2lbs. all in tears.

This is the saddest day of my life.

Dale Inada

Dale Inada sleepy head