Why do I feel like I lost my child? Barney Inada

I am not a parent.

But somehow I feel that Barney Inada was reborn as a child. I spent the last 9 years with Barney 24 hours a day.

I got him up, I fed him, made sure he had clean cloths. Twice a week I gave Barney a shower.

The lonliness, pain and emptiness is still in my heart. I think about Barney when I wake up, when I fall asleep.