The reason Barney Inada died.

Barney did not have to die.

He complained of chest pain for about 3 hours. It was around 8:00pm Sunday night and Barney was holding his chest. Dale insisted it was a strained muscle but I knew something was wrong.

Barney didn't want to go for a drive which is something he loved to do every evening. He was in foul mood, he wanted to sleep for a lttle bit. All these were signs that something was wrong and I should have called 911.

I can't trust Dale, when Helen died in 2007, she was dead for hours before Dale let me call 911.

If I wasn't such a idiot Barney would still be alive.

Dale Inada at Buddhist Temple in San Jose

Dale Inada at the Buddhist Temple in San Jose. March

The deepest sorrow I have ever felt

I fucked up... really bad. Barney Inada died early Monday morning of a heart attack.

It was preventable, Barney complained of chest pains starting @ 9:00 Sunday night. Dale and I kept giving him aspirin and put him to bed @ 11:00pm.

At 3:30am Monday morning Barney tried to get out of bed holding his chest. He collapsed in my arms and I staring CPR immediately. I was doing it really poorly, I panic and did a very bad job.

Barney was essentially a child, a sweet, gentle and loving being. In a lot of ways I was closer to Barney then to Dale.

The shame and guilt I have from NOT calling 911 sooner will be with me the rest of my life. I failed Barney when he needed me most.

I am scum.

Dale Inada

Dale Inada sleepy head

Marina Bike Ride

Another day, another 10-12 miles a day on the bike. Dale Inada has been cycling 30-40 miles a day___serious__even while Dale was sick with the H1N1 flu.

Santa Cruz Japanese Festival

The Santa Cruz Japanese Festival was Saturday June 20, 2009. It was warm but according to Dale it was "Hella Hot".

Dale Inada at Fort Ord State Park

I am really sad that the new Fort Ord State Park has opened to the public. We had our own private beach for the last 2-3 years. Only a handful of people ever came down to our little bluff over the ocean.

Dale Inada and Kuma the kitten

Dale Inada and baby Kuma. Sometime around July 2007. Kuma adores Dale.